


Gone Forever

by edgarallanjo



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2D isn't really in the fic tbh he's just mentioned, 2doc is also mentioned, Alcoholism, Angst, Cursing/Swearing (implied), Hurt, M/M, Sad, Songfic, based on the title you'd assume it is a Three Days Grace songfic and it is, but its like past 2doc, im hurting myself by writing these unecessary tags, implied bc there isn't any dialogue whoops, in which a very angry Murdoc is in denial, inbetween phase one and phase two, its really fucking sad, mention of suicidal thoughts, my first fic is sad how about that shit eh, rated T because of the following lmao, which is my headcanon of when he and murdoc broke up, you're so smart look at u go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgarallanjo/pseuds/edgarallanjo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murdoc isn't in denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my homie Jamie](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+homie+Jamie).



It hadn't been more than sixty-one days since he last saw 2D. He wasn't counting them. He was not counting the nights he stayed up, sleepless, without a certain blue-haired bloke lying in bed next to him, dented head resting peacefully on his tattooed shoulder. He definitely was not drowning these unnecessary thoughts in bottle after bottle of whatever booze he could get his anxious, trembling hands on.

Murdoc wasn't pacing angrily around his shoddy, rotten flat, thinking about the last time he felt his precious singer's soft, cool lips brushing against his own, serving as a silent goodbye to several years behind them, as a couple. Years that weren't long gone by now. He wasn't thinking about the fiery, stinging tears that burned his cheeks when long, pale fingers released his hand after the final squeeze of his palm. He wasn't remembering the sad smile Stuart gave him before entering the cab and speeding away from Kong's gates. He refused to acknowledge the time he spent inside of their old home, lying in his ex-lover's empty bed in a last attempt to hold onto him. He didn't have the desire to bury his broken nose into fluffy blue spikes and inhale the aroma of butterscotch, cheap shampoo, and a faint trace of cologne. He did not scream at the walls of 2D's old bedroom the way he wasn't screaming at the walls of his current living space, and he didn't get satisfaction out of the way his hand stung when he'd accidentally sliced it open after shattering an almost-empty beer bottle to an end table. He wasn't wearing an old shirt that used to belong to Stuart, and he didn't clutch it to his chest like it was the last remaining piece of his life. Murdoc wasn't thinking about the way his chest ached when he thought about the only person he'd ever truly cared about.

He didn't care. He didn't feel a burning longing to fall into a sleep that wouldn't end. He wasn't letting tears that never existed pool at his stubble-covered chin only to drip onto the smelly carpet below him. He didn't have a hard time sleeping at night. He didn't go out to bars at fuck-all in the morning to drown the sorrows he didn't have in rum and shitty beer until he was nothing but an empty shell of himself and regret. He didn't stumble from the living room carpet onto the linoleum floor of the bathroom to glare at his own bloodshot eyes in the mirror. He didn't slump onto the floor against the bathtub, letting dry sobs wrack his entire body, unable to breathe. He didn't miss anyone. He wasn't upset. He wasn't not fine. None of this happened because he never loved anyone. He never gave two shits more than he should have about a single person in his life because there was no reason to. He wasn't sad.

If Stuart knew anything, it was this; Murdoc wasn't a good liar.

**Author's Note:**

> i sincerely apologize for this  
> like wtf my first fic was not supposed to be this sad  
> I've been rly feelin 2doc recently tho so  
> you know how that is  
> ill be writing more stuff  
> i can't promise any chapter fics though bc im only so creative lmao  
> if anyone has any ideas for cute/stupid oneshots involving these little shits let me know because i will most likely do it and also befriend you  
> happy fucking holidays you nerds  
> i sincerely apologize if typos make this unbearable, im using my phone and i do not have autocorrect


End file.
